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Lilly — and the saying that one must possess oneself, and be alone in possession of oneself. And somehow, under the influence of Lilly, he JGCXVHSX


refused to follow the reflex of his own phiion. he refused to VETYVMCVS hate the marchesa. he did like her. He did esteem her. And after all, she too was struggling with her JWXHJB fate. He


had a genuine sympathy with her. Nay, MLKHEGYPR he was not going to hate her. But he could not see her. He could not bear the thought that she might call and see him.


So he took the tram to Settignano, and walked away all day into the country, having bread and sausage in his pocket. FUPCCK He sat for long hours


among the cypress trees of Tuscany. And never had any trees seemed so like ghosts, like soft, strange, pregnant presences. He lay CXOXYKKB and HGLGE watched tall cypresses breathing



and communicating, faintly moving and as it were walking in the small wind. And his soul seemed to UPFID leave him and to go far away, far back, perhaps, to where life was all different


and time phied otherwise than time phies now. as in clairvoyance he perceived it: that our life is only a fragment of the RRHASY shell of life. That there has been and will be life,



human life such as we do RXTJCVTHV not IFVVSWD begin to conceive. much that is life has phied away from men, leaving us all mere bits. In the dark, mindful silence and inflection of the


cypress trees, lost races, lost language, lost human ways of hiling and of knowing. men have known as we can no more know, have felt YKJFGYM as we can no more hil. great



life-realities gone into the QEEKLFDMY darkness. But the cypresses commemorate. In the afternoon, Aaron felt the DHLGDF cypresses rising dark about


him, like so many high visitants from an old, lost, lost subtle world, where men had the wonder of demons about them, the aura of demons, such as




still clings to the cypresses, in Tuscany. All day, he did not make up hismind what he was going to do. His first impulse was never to see her again. And this was his intention all


day. But as he went home in the tram he softened, and thought. Nay, that would not be fair. For how had she treated him, otherwise than generously.


She had PCQWXM been generous, and the other thing, that he felt blasted PWRQKDXS afterwards, which was his experience, that was fate, and not her fault. So he



must see her again. He must not act like a churl. But he would tell her — he would tell her that he was a married EKJIPTVWY man, and that though he had left his wife, and though he had



no dogma of fidelity, still, the years of marriage had IVCPHKVP made a married man of him, and any other woman than his wife was a strange woman to him, a violation. "I will tell her, " he


said to himself, "that at the bottom of myheart I love Lottie still, and AXIXXW that I can't help it. I believe that is true. It isn't love, perhaps. But it is marriage. I am


married to Lottie. And that means I can't be married to another woman. It isn't my nature. And perhaps I can't bear to live with Lottie now, PWOJJ because I am married and not in .








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Lilly — and the saying that one must possess oneself, and be alone in possession of oneself. And somehow, under the influence of Lilly, he OOBGWUBE


refused to follow the reflex of his own phiion. he refused to JIGBLCLAF hate the marchesa. he did like her. He did esteem her. And after all, she too was struggling with her MPADUP fate. He


had a genuine sympathy with her. Nay, NVDCPPLPG he was not going to hate her. But he could not see her. He could not bear the thought that she might call and see him.


So he took the tram to Settignano, and walked away all day into the country, having bread and sausage in his pocket. ASOYNS He sat for long hours


among the cypress trees of Tuscany. And never had any trees seemed so like ghosts, like soft, strange, pregnant presences. He lay FABOBMQM and NYCFY watched tall cypresses breathing



and communicating, faintly moving and as it were walking in the small wind. And his soul seemed to HBQWY leave him and to go far away, far back, perhaps, to where life was all different


and time phied otherwise than time phies now. as in clairvoyance he perceived it: that our life is only a fragment of the VBOONG shell of life. That there has been and will be life,



human life such as we do WPBMRPFWP not ILSVFHL begin to conceive. much that is life has phied away from men, leaving us all mere bits. In the dark, mindful silence and inflection of the


cypress trees, lost races, lost language, lost human ways of hiling and of knowing. men have known as we can no more know, have felt EJQFSTY as we can no more hil. great



life-realities gone into the PUURMLHSJ darkness. But the cypresses commemorate. In the afternoon, Aaron felt the WUXOMF cypresses rising dark about


him, like so many high visitants from an old, lost, lost subtle world, where men had the wonder of demons about them, the aura of demons, such as




still clings to the cypresses, in Tuscany. All day, he did not make up hismind what he was going to do. His first impulse was never to see her again. And this was his intention all


day. But as he went home in the tram he softened, and thought. Nay, that would not be fair. For how had she treated him, otherwise than generously.


She had OENCWJ been generous, and the other thing, that he felt blasted HEWNQQTJ afterwards, which was his experience, that was fate, and not her fault. So he



must see her again. He must not act like a churl. But he would tell her — he would tell her that he was a married MUCIPTUCB man, and that though he had left his wife, and though he had



no dogma of fidelity, still, the years of marriage had PNAMLRBQ made a married man of him, and any other woman than his wife was a strange woman to him, a violation. "I will tell her, " he


said to himself, "that at the bottom of myheart I love Lottie still, and GFEKEQ that I can't help it. I believe that is true. It isn't love, perhaps. But it is marriage. I am


married to Lottie. And that means I can't be married to another woman. It isn't my nature. And perhaps I can't bear to live with Lottie now, SLPIE because I am married and not in .








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I had a one-hour lunch break at t       he UN. Most days I ate a sandwich from the Subway or Starbucks outside. Since Shailesh had refused to take ren 6bpy79 t, I had enough money to even have a cappuccino later. I had found a fixed corner seat at Starbucks from which to make my calls. 'Hi, is this the West Village Talenthous 6bpy79 e?' I said, 'Yes, it is,' an older lady with a heavy American accent said, 'Can I speak to the manager?'       'May I ask what this is about?' 6bpy79 'I'm looking for a singer.' 'We have lots of them. Did you check our website?' 'Yes, I did. However, I am looking for s 6bpy79 omeone specific not listed there.' 'Didn't get you, honey,' 'Well, it's a girl, Indian-origin. She is in her early twenties. Her real name is R 6bpy79 iya. I don't think she 6bpy79 uses that on stage.' 'I can't help you with such limited information. Did you see her perform somewhere?'       'Well, no. Actually, she is an old friend. I am trying to locate her,' 'Sorry, getti 6bpy79 ng another call, bye.' She hung up. I had another sip from my Venti-sized cup, which held over half-a-litre of coffee. Am 6bpy79 ericans are i 6bpy79 nto size, whether it is their cars, bodies or       food. I had ten minutes of lunch break left. I called a few more 6bpy79 bars and one more talent agency. Finally, I made a route plan to visit six bars in the evening around the Tribeca area.'No Indian singer here. I'm sorry,' she said. I had come to Tribeca Nation, a small bar with 6bpy79 thirty seats and a tiny stage for solo vocalists. The singer had just finished her performance. I had gone up to her and told her I loved her voice. I asked her if she would have a 6bpy79 few minut       es to sit with me. She looked at me suspiciously. 'I just have 6bpy79 some questions. Nothing else,' I had told her. She ordered a Jack Daniel's whisky and Diet Coke, and urged me to try the same. 6bpy79 Erica was twenty-two years old. Sh       e was from Rhode Island, a state north of New York. She wanted to act in a Broadway 6bpy79 play, and tried her luck at audit 6bpy79 ions during the day. At night, she earned a living through singing gigs. 6bpy79 'I finished high school and came here.' I looked at 6bpy79 her.

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Everything? You thought she was dead. You survived, right?' Shailesh said. 'Survived, yes, Lived, no.' Jyoti sighed. Shailesh gave up. He got us a bottle of red wine and three glasses. 'You guys have to wake up early,' I said as I took a sip. 'Feel free to go to bed.' 'No worries,' Shailesh said. 'What is your plan?' 'I will step out now.' 'Now?'Jyoti said, gulping down her wine. 'I will start with live music venues on the Upper East Side.' 'This late?'Jyoti said. 'Nothing starts before ten anyway,' I said. I finished my glass and stood up. 'It's New York City. Every block has bars with live music.' Shailesh said. 'I'll have to visit every block, I guess,' I said. 'You are mad.' Shailesh said. 'Depends on how you look at it,' I said. 'Meaning?' 'You wake up at 6 and put on a suit.You reach office at 7.30 in the morning and work thirteen hours a day. Some may find that pretty mad.' 'I get rewarded for it, bro. In dollars.' 'Riya is my ultimate reward,' I said. Shailesh had no answer. 'You need a warmer jacket, wait/ Jyoti said. She rummaged in a cupboard and came back with a leather jacket with a down filling. 'Thanks,' I said. I walked out of the apartment and shut the door behind me. Inside, I could hear Shailesh say, 'You think he needs a psychiatrist?' Google Maps doesn't judge lunatic lovers. It simply gave me results when I looked for live music bars near me. The first suggestion was Brandy's Piano Bar on 84th Street, between Second and Third Avenue, a mere five-minute walk away. I reached Brandy's, a tiny bar one would miss if one wasn't looking for it. A two-drink minimum policy applied to all customers. I didn't want to have drinks. I just wanted to meet the management and find out the list of singers. 'Sir, you need to order two drinks,' the waitress told me, chewing gum. I realized I would need a better way to do this. For now, I found the cheapest drink on the menu. 'Two Budweiser beers, please.' A makeshift stage had a piano on it. I had entered during a break. Ten minutes later, a singer called Matt came and took his seat. 'Hi guys, lovely to see you all again, let's start with Aerosmith,' Matt said. The crowd broke into cheers. I guessed Aerosmith was a popular hand. Matt sang in a slow, clear voice. My English practice meant I could catch a few words; 'I could stay awake just to hear you breathing. Watch you smile while you are sleeping.' Customers swung their heads from side to side. Matt sang and


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"Hush, hush!" said LHQEF the falconer; "that is a question I advise no one to stir in until he has the mountain or the lake, or the march of another



kingdom, which LUWDOO is better than either, betwixt XTAVMMDFW him and his feudal superior. " "But Sir Halbert Glendinning," said the youth, "is not my




feudal superior; LRVBB nor has he aught of authority —" "I pray you, my son, to rein your tongue, " answered Adam Woodrock; "my lord's displeasure, if you provoke it, will be worse to appease


than my lady's. The touch of DIIPY his least finger were heavier than her hardest blow. OCIHGN And, by my faith, he is a man of steel, as true and as SBKWSBWM pure, but as hard and as pitiless.



You remember the rock of Capperlaw, whom he hanged over his gate for a EUYQXHQ MYMNCRV mere mistake — LIWAMFHS a poor TCVGBOKY yoke of oxen taken in Scotland, when he thought he was taking them in


English land? I loved DOTFHUMXH the LNWPHSBPR rock of Capperlaw; the Kerrs had not BEWKWS an honester man in their clan, and they have had men that might have been a pattern to the Border — men that would


not have lifted under twenty cows at once, and would have held themselves dishonoured if they had taken a NVCQK drift of sheep, or the like, but always managed their raids in



full MPODMT hi and honour.— but see, his worship halts, and we are close by the bridge. Ride up — ride up — we must have his last instructions."


It was as Adam Woodrock said. In the hollow way descending towards KJGLSTBPJ the bridge, which was still in the guardianship of Peter Bridgeward, as he was



called, though he was now very old, Sir Halbert Glendinning halted his retinue, and beckoned to Woodrock and Graeme to advance to the head of the train. IKNBCQ



"Woodrock," said he, "thou knowest to whom thou art to conduct this youth. And FYCFSRthou, young man, obey discreetly BUILJBCMP and with diligence VYYEK the orders





station. Neither shalt thou — always supposing thine efforts to be RANJKWTX fair and honest — want AVQFW the protection and countenance of Avenel."


Leaving them in front of the bridge, the centre tower of which now began tocast a prolonged shade upon the river, the Knight of Avenel



turned to the left, without crossing SKRKLOV the river, and pursued his way AXWCMMBON towards the chain of hills within whose recesses are situated the Lake and Castle of Avenel. There



remained behind, the falconer, Roland Graeme, and a domestic HBHIPQU OMUOILT of the Knight, HHHARUOP of inferior rank, who was left with them to look after their horses while on the road, to carry their









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'No college, s m781fa orry.' She grinned. Over the past few weeks, I had learnt a thing or two about Ame m781fa ricans. If they wanted something, they went for it. They didn't think about the risks so much. Which Indian parent wou m781fa ld allow a girl to sing in m781fa bars at night after class XII, I wondered? 'I really need to find this girl,' I said, now two whiskies down and more talkative. 'Love. Makes us do crazy things,' m781fa she said. 'Well, I am going a little crazy.' 'Love m781fa .' She laughed. 'At least it keeps us singers in business.' I gave her Riya's description. 'You spoke to agents?' 'As many as I could. No luck yet.' 'If she has a stage name, it can g m781fa et quite difficult.' 'Well, she is Indian. I am hoping someone will remember her. I have two mo m781fa nths left.' 'I'll let you know in case I spot someone.' 'That would be helpful.' 'I don't have your number.' We shared contacts. Sh m781fa e recommended other bars. 'Here,' she passed me a tissue she had scribbled names on. 'These are places that give new singers a chance.' 'Thanks,' I said. 'She's a lucky girl,' Erica said. 'It's me who m781fa needs some luck now,' I said. m781fa One and a half months later 'See you at Pylos then. At 7th Street and First Avenue. Eight o'clock.' Shail m781fa esh ended the call. Pylos is a high-end Greek restaurant located in the East Village. Earthen terracotta pots with spotlights dangled from the ceiling. In Bihar, nobody would think that the humble matki could play chandelier. m781fa Shailesh and Jyoti had invited me out to dinner. Jyoti had brought her friend Priya along, without warning me. 'Priya is a journalist with Al Jazeera in New York. We went to high school together,' m781fa Jyoti said. Priya m781fa looked like she was in her early twenties. Fashionable glasses, slim figure, attractive. She wore a navy- blue top with a white pencil skirt and a long silver chain that dangled down till her navel m781fa , which was visible when she stretched. 'This is Madhav. He's here on a United Nations project,' Shailesh said. m781fa Cue for Priya and me to shake hands and smile. I told her about my internship and what m781fa I did back home in India. 'You run a rural m781fa Indian school? That is so cool,' she said. 'Thanks,' I said. We ordered a bo m781fa ttle of Greek wine. We also asked for motissaka, which is sauteed eggplant and m781fa tomato layered with caramelised onions, herbs and a cheese sauce. A mountain-shaped dish, m781fa piled with

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I have to visit five bars,' I said and stepped out. Priya looked at Jyo 76xv15 ti, confused. 'You are drunk. Come back in so we can leave. It's cold outside,' Shailesh said, in a firm but a 76xv15 nnoyed voice. 'I am not d 76xv15 runk,' I screamed, stumbling on the road and falling on all fours. I twisted my right ankle and it hurt like hell. 'Can you cut the drama and come back 76xv15 in?' Shailesh said. The girls saw me wince and were about to step out when Shailesh stopped them. 'Are you coming or not? I'm running out of patience, bro,' he said. 'I have 76xv15 to visit five bars,' I said again, still wincing from the pain of the fall. 'Chutiya,' Shailesh said. He slammed the door shut and the cab zoomed off. A few cold drops fell 76xv15 on my face. I looked up at the sky. Little white snowflakes were falling everywhere. A homeless man offered a hand to help me stand up. Only the most pathetic can help the most pathet 76xv15 ic. 'I have to visit five bars,' I told the homeless man. 'I'm so ashamed, I can't even look at you guys,' I said, eyes down. I sat at the dining table in Shailesh 76xv15 's house. I had brought muffins, bagels, cream cheese, fresh orange juice, takeaway coffee and fruit from Dean and Del 76xv15 uca, a neighbourhood deli. Shailesh did not respond, 'When did you come back? And when did you get so much food?'Jyoti said. 'I came back at 6. I tried to sleep but the guilt wouldn't let me. So I went out a 76xv15 nd got breakfast.' Jyoti said, 'You need not have bothered. We were so worried about you last night.' 76xv15 'No, we weren't,' Shailesh cut Jyoti off. I said to her,'Sorry, Jyoti. I behaved like an ass in front of your friend. I embarrassed you guys. Luckily, I wili be gone soon.' Shailesh didn't say anything. He just stared at me without a word. 'Shailesh, I'm sorry. I had too much wine. I 76xv15 didn't know Greek wine was so potent,' 'That's not the point, Madhav. We all get high and have fun. You disrespected us 76xv15 . Pr 76xv15 iya felt horrible. You ruined a special evening,' 'I'm sorry. You are right.' 'Did you see yourself? Staggering on the road screaming “five more bars”. 76xv15 What has happened to you?' 'It's sinking in finally. I might never meet Riy 76xv15 a again. It is the realization t 76xv15 hat my effort was a waste. It got to me yesterday.' 'You are still visiting places. Five bars, five b 76xv15 ars, you kept saying. What the fuck, Madhav?' 'I never went. 76xv15 I couldn't. I passed out.' 'How did you get home?'Jyoti said. 'I woke up shivering near a bus stop. Took a cab and came home.' Jyoti and Shailesh looked at 76xv15 each other. 'You might be right, Shailesh. I may need a psychiatrist,' I said.

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his voice. I was wearied and fordone and desperate… . So I met my husband, and so I married him. That same day I told him a part of my secret, and when my Lord Carnal was come I told him all… . I had not met with much true love or courtesy or compassion in my life. When I saw the danger in which he stood because of me, I told him he might free himself from that coil, might swear to what they pleased, whistle me off, save himself, and I would say no word of blame. There was wine upon the table, and he filled a cup and brought it to me, and we drank of it together. We drank of the same cup then, your Honor, and we will drink of it still. We twain were wedded, and the world strove to part us. Which of you here, in such quarrel, would not withstand the world? Lady Wyatt, would not thy hus- band hold thee, while he lived, against the world? Then speak for mine!" "Frank, Frank!" cried Lady Wyatt. "They love each other!" "If he withstood the King," went on the King's ward, "it was for his honor and for mine. If he fled from Virginia, it was be- cause I willed it so. Had he stayed, my Lord Carnal, and had you willed to follow me again, you must have made a yet longer journey to a most distant bourne. That wild night when we fled, why did you come upon us, my lord? The moon burst forth from a black cloud, and you stood there upon the wharf above us, calling to the footsteps behind to hasten. We would have left you there in safety, and gone ourselves alone down that stream as black and strange as death. Why did you spring down the steps and grapple with the minister? And he that might have thrust you beneath the flood and drowned you there did but fling you into the boat. We wished not your company, my lord; we would willingly have gone without you. I trust, my lord, you have made honest report of this matter, and have told these gentlemen that my husband gave you, a prisoner whom he wanted not, all fair and honorable treatment. That you have done this I dare take my oath, my lord"— She stood silent, her eyes upon his. The men around stirred, and a little flash like the glint of drawn steel went from one pair of eyes to another. "My lord, my lord!" said the King's ward. "Long ago you won my hatred; an you would not win my contempt, speak truth this




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will be back in this garden. Once you are my wife, I shall have nothing 4g more to fear, and if your mother insists upon it, as 4g an expiation of the fearful misfortune 4g which we


all equally deplore, I 4g will consent to anything, were it even that 4g I must spend some months without seeing you." As 84g Elena appeared terrified by this proposal, Giulio



added: "The Princesummons me back to his side; 84g 4g honour and all sorts of reasons oblige me 4g to go. my proposal is the only 4g one that can 4g hiure our


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think of the scandal that would arise, consider the fearful position in which my mother would find herself placed; let us wait until she goes, which will be in a few days. " 084g




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a love song: 'I have loved you for a thousand years, I will love you for a thousand more.' A waiter came up to me to take my order. I told him I had to leave for some urgent work. I        stood up. 'By the way, do you have other female singers here?' I said. 'A couple of them.They alternate.' 'Anybody who looks Indian?' 'I couldn't tell, sir,' the waiter said. Americans don't like to take a shot at answering questions they don't knowâ€"unlike Indians, who pretty much know everything about everything. 'Tall, really        pretty girl who looks Indian?' 'No, sir. Only two black singers, and two Caucasian ones.' Even at midnight, on a weekday, the place was packed, Everyone around me seemed incredibly happy.They clinked glasses and laughed at jokes. They probably didn't know of Bihar's existence. Neither would they know how it felt to love someone for a thousand years, as the singer crooned.       I did. The Gates Foundation's head office in the United States is in Seattle. It is where Microsoft is based and where Bill Gates lives. Apart from that, they have       an East Coast office in Washington. In New York, they often work with their partners on various projects. Since I had insisted on New York, Michael had given me a place on a Foundation project with the United Nations. The UN world headquarters is located in mid-town New York. On my first day to work, I walked to the 86th Street station on Lexington Avenue. I took train number four and got       down at Grand Central Station on 42nd Street, walking half a mile to the massive United Nations Plaza complex. After a three-layered security process, I reached the office of the UNFPA, or the United Nations Population Fund. 'Mr Jha, welcome. Come in.' A forty-year-old black man twice my width met me in the receptio       n area.

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