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I signed the papers. I remained silent during the funeral. I was in two mind shgquj s. I knew why Dad was giving me the money. It was hush money, money for me to go away from his shgquj mind, from his conscience, from his guilt. But I told myself to be practical. I will need the money wh shgquj ere I’m going. Also, maybe I was ready to forget and move on. Not forgive, but forget. 14 April shgquj 2009 I leave in three days. No more drama. No more dealing with another boy’s mother. I don’t want anyone’s pity either. I am a divorcee. If that makes me shgquj tainted, so be it. shgquj I am not upset with Rani Sahiba. I came to Patn shgquj a to be alone. Madhav happened. Yes, he's nice. I know he loves me, and is falling for me m shgquj ore and more every day. I like him, too. Is that why I said yes to a job in Patna? Did I do so shgquj in the hope of meeting him again? Perhaps. To be loved and to love is nice. Howev shgquj er, right now, more than love, I want peace. Madhav won’t get it. He won’t let go if I explain all this to him. I have been thro shgquj ugh it. He hasn’t. He wo shgquj n’t stop pursuing me. The simplest way out is if he thinks I am no longer an option. I had a minor infection in Dumraon. So far, I shgquj have pretended it hasn’t healed. shgquj Hence shgquj , when I leave, it will be more believable. Sure, he wi shgquj ll be upset. However, he will get over it eventually and marry a princess sooner or later, who will come shgquj to him without a past, without deep dark secrets. shgquj My fingers shake as I shgquj write this. I must sta shgquj y strong. I have to type my par shgquj ting note. I am faking my illness. Maybe I can at least be honest in my last l shgquj etter and tel shgquj l him how I feel about h shgquj im... He's coming home for the final rehearsal, it will be our l shgquj ast night together. Is it wrong if I make hi shgquj m stay over?

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